names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
