Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
