Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize