whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I believe in your delicious
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
