he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
