remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
