I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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