WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
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I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
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Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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