Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
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You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize