He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
