You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
