k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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