you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize