do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
