Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
