Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I believe in your delicious
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
