Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
