i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
