Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Its about making memories worth repressing
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
