Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
