People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
