Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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