Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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