The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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