my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think people are normalizing furries
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
