i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
