Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
