Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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