If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
