dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
