i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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