I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
