i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
