My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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