it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
