I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Im part way to drunk.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
