Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
