Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
