I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
