hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
