He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
