Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
