the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
