I feel like abortions should bother me more
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
