i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
