Screwed.edu
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
