She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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