i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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