So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
