Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
