That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
