I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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