his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
