We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I will pee on everything he values.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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