My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
