Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
