Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Randomize
