he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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