Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
