I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
